OP doesn’t seem to have responded, so no, but that’s not the fault of the question.

Because of the XY problem. The problem OP is stating may not actually be the source of the issues OP is experiencing.

Finding out what OP is trying to do will better inform a solution and may make the stated problem irrelevant.

People find sunsets pretty. That doesn’t mean they’re heliosexual. Finding a thing aesthetically pleasing is distinct from being sexually or romantically attracted.