Reddit -> Beehaw until I decided I didn’t like older versions of Lemmy (though it seems most things I didn’t like are better now) -> kbin.social (died) -> kbin.run (died) -> fedia.

Japan-based backend software dev.

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Joined 7 months ago
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Cake day: August 14th, 2024

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    1. Anything more than hushed conversation is banned on public transit (exceptions for children too little to be able to control it, developmentally disabled, etc.). You may answer the phone, quietly, to tell the person you cannot talk right this second and will phone them back from the next station
    2. Everywhere is accessible to the blind, those in wheelchairs, on crutches, etc.
    3. You will grow some of your own food as your space allows. If you have a tiny flat with one window? Grow some herbs or chives or something? Gotta big lawn? Now you have a garden. Those with small children will be left some room for them to play.
    4. Everyone wanting a driving license must drive a giant, slow truck and a small motorbike for several weeks. The tests everywhere in the US get harder and more demanding.
    5. You must use public transport in any case it is possible and practical (i.e I don’t expect you to try to take your haul from Ikea back on a train).
    6. You will generally only eat two meals a day and no more gluten (sorry; I didn’t want to inflict this on you nor did I want the gluten restriction on myself, but this is the only way my body works somewhat properly).
    7. Your mind’s eye and any audible inner monologue are now gone. It’s fine; enjoy the imagination and peace.
    8. You must live somewhere on roughly the other side of the planet from where you grew up (again, sorry to force you)
    9. You must live in at least one foreign country for no less than 3 months outside of a foreigner community and learn the language and culture (not at all sorry about this one).
    10. You must be in pain a lot of the time without docs being able to find anything useful. You must also have anxiety, ADHD, probable ASD, and overthink many things.

    I tried to answer the actual question rather than how I think things should be. I’m sure I’m missing something about my life. I guess you’d all have to work as software engineers who run a small farm most of the year, strictly speaking.










  • Aside from basic biological stuff, trust and consent. Consent is required. Trust no one you don’t know extremely well and are in a committed relationship (especially as regards protection and contraception).

    I wonder if educational videos exist on this. I assume so somewhere. As a dude in his 40s not having kids, I thought “maybe I should reach out to volunteer to help” but, at the same time, realize there are so many weirdos on the internet I would always say no in the same circumstance. Maybe if there are no educational vids, I could try to create something.

    Raising kids is hard. Good on you for trying to do things properly. Best of luck!