Are you sure it’s not just the women you’re having sex with are faking their orgasms?
Like, penetrative sex does not lead to orgasm for the majority of people with vaginas. You have to stimulate the clitoris. If you aren’t doing that - they probably are faking to get you to be done with it.
I’ve never met women concerned about dick size - being a “size queen” seems to be more of a thing for gay men. I don’t think there’s a lot of variation in feeling in a vagina for anywhere in the 4-7 inches range.
The attitude that all women are whores and that all sex is transactional seems sad to me. I had men say that to me when I was in the trade, and that was the kind of thing that contributed to it being hellish and unpleasant. I like the idea that sex is something people do because it’s fun and makes them feel good, not that it’s some sort of asymmetrical and hostile game.
I mean, sure. It’s easy to accuse me of being uniquely bad at sex, right? “Are you sure it’s not a YOU problem?”
Well according to the women I’ve slept with I’m simultaneously great and terrible in bed depending on if she was breaking up with me at the time the topic came to discussion. She’s either faking it in bed and the truth only comes out months later, or she’s having a good time in bed and trying to hurt my feelings while she’s angry at me. Which is why I brought up dick size. I don’t care if women care about dick size. I have a normal average medium-size dick and I’ve never been told that by a woman, it’s either huge or tiny depending on her desire to boost or bruise my ego. I’ve had the same woman say both.
I’ve asked every woman I’ve slept with some variation of Do you like that? What do you want to do? What’s your favorite? I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a useful answer out of that line of questioning. The most common response is an indignant “I don’t know!!!” like it’s an inappropriate question to ask at this moment. Or an “uh…yeah” or the surprisingly common continue to rhythmically moan as if no question was asked
Faking orgasms to get sex over with faster and then agreeing to have sex again with the same person is not the behavior of someone who wants to cum during sex. It’s such a dumbass way to go about achieving that goal that it’s just easier to believe the goal is something else.
She’s either got the notion in her head that there exists a man who “just knows” what she wants and she’ll never have to verbalize her wants or needs because he “just does” what she wants. Maybe she’s seen an old couple whose routines are in perfect sync and they fall apart without each other, and romcom movies have her convinced he just exists somewhere fully formed and all you’ve got to do is bend over to pick up dropped papers in front of the right business executive to get it, not spend 40 years of marriage living together, communicating, arguing, winning, losing, compromising, choosing battles and, pause for gasp, sometimes doing things for him too. So she just tries out a man, when he isn’t precisely what she has in mind she ghosts him and moves on to the next one.
Or, she’s willing to get on her back if if means a free meal at local fancy restaurant she can post to Instagram and maybe also even eat.
One thing i agree on with you is that at most of the women i had sex with were pretty bad at verbalizing what they want in bed, regardless of when they are asked about it, and that’s coming from an european where sex stuff is a lot less taboo to talk about than in the states. This is one thing that gets better with age, tho - older women seem to be much more vocal about their needs, so i would say experience is the key factor here. given how sexually repressive the US are especially towards women, it’s something that only social reform can fix, and currently the US are making steps backwards instead of forwards in that regard.
Body shaming to hurt someone during a breakup is not ok and a character flaw; breakups hurt enough as it is without stuff like that. I’m happy i haven’t experienced that yet; all my relationships so far have ended amicably, even if tears where involved on both sides - it just didn’t work out anymore. There would probably be no issue if i met any of my previous partners again.
I do not agree that all sex is transactional. I know it isn’t for me, i can be perfectly content with giving pleasure without receiving anything in return, and i believe most sex is cooperative, working together towards fullfillment of both parties. That includes a transaction, if you really want to be pedantic about it, but the transaction is pretty low-key.
Are you sure it’s not just the women you’re having sex with are faking their orgasms?
Like, penetrative sex does not lead to orgasm for the majority of people with vaginas. You have to stimulate the clitoris. If you aren’t doing that - they probably are faking to get you to be done with it.
I’ve never met women concerned about dick size - being a “size queen” seems to be more of a thing for gay men. I don’t think there’s a lot of variation in feeling in a vagina for anywhere in the 4-7 inches range.
The attitude that all women are whores and that all sex is transactional seems sad to me. I had men say that to me when I was in the trade, and that was the kind of thing that contributed to it being hellish and unpleasant. I like the idea that sex is something people do because it’s fun and makes them feel good, not that it’s some sort of asymmetrical and hostile game.
I mean, sure. It’s easy to accuse me of being uniquely bad at sex, right? “Are you sure it’s not a YOU problem?”
Well according to the women I’ve slept with I’m simultaneously great and terrible in bed depending on if she was breaking up with me at the time the topic came to discussion. She’s either faking it in bed and the truth only comes out months later, or she’s having a good time in bed and trying to hurt my feelings while she’s angry at me. Which is why I brought up dick size. I don’t care if women care about dick size. I have a normal average medium-size dick and I’ve never been told that by a woman, it’s either huge or tiny depending on her desire to boost or bruise my ego. I’ve had the same woman say both.
I’ve asked every woman I’ve slept with some variation of Do you like that? What do you want to do? What’s your favorite? I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a useful answer out of that line of questioning. The most common response is an indignant “I don’t know!!!” like it’s an inappropriate question to ask at this moment. Or an “uh…yeah” or the surprisingly common continue to rhythmically moan as if no question was asked
Faking orgasms to get sex over with faster and then agreeing to have sex again with the same person is not the behavior of someone who wants to cum during sex. It’s such a dumbass way to go about achieving that goal that it’s just easier to believe the goal is something else.
She’s either got the notion in her head that there exists a man who “just knows” what she wants and she’ll never have to verbalize her wants or needs because he “just does” what she wants. Maybe she’s seen an old couple whose routines are in perfect sync and they fall apart without each other, and romcom movies have her convinced he just exists somewhere fully formed and all you’ve got to do is bend over to pick up dropped papers in front of the right business executive to get it, not spend 40 years of marriage living together, communicating, arguing, winning, losing, compromising, choosing battles and, pause for gasp, sometimes doing things for him too. So she just tries out a man, when he isn’t precisely what she has in mind she ghosts him and moves on to the next one.
Or, she’s willing to get on her back if if means a free meal at local fancy restaurant she can post to Instagram and maybe also even eat.
One thing i agree on with you is that at most of the women i had sex with were pretty bad at verbalizing what they want in bed, regardless of when they are asked about it, and that’s coming from an european where sex stuff is a lot less taboo to talk about than in the states. This is one thing that gets better with age, tho - older women seem to be much more vocal about their needs, so i would say experience is the key factor here. given how sexually repressive the US are especially towards women, it’s something that only social reform can fix, and currently the US are making steps backwards instead of forwards in that regard.
Body shaming to hurt someone during a breakup is not ok and a character flaw; breakups hurt enough as it is without stuff like that. I’m happy i haven’t experienced that yet; all my relationships so far have ended amicably, even if tears where involved on both sides - it just didn’t work out anymore. There would probably be no issue if i met any of my previous partners again.
I do not agree that all sex is transactional. I know it isn’t for me, i can be perfectly content with giving pleasure without receiving anything in return, and i believe most sex is cooperative, working together towards fullfillment of both parties. That includes a transaction, if you really want to be pedantic about it, but the transaction is pretty low-key.